Tag Archives: toronto maple leafs

Worst NHL contracts on the books

In our  continued effort to point out how we could easily be better GMs than a number of people currently holding that position in the NHL, we would like to take a moment to highlight some of the worst contracts currently on the books for NHL teams. It may be the ridiculous overvaluation of a player, the length of the contract or the fact that it is hamstringing their salary cap but one thing is for sure – these GMs must have been choking on their crystal meth pipes when they signed these.

Thomas Vanek (Buffalo Sabres)– $6.4 million for 3 more years, cap hit $7 /year
To be fair to Buffalo their hand was forced by a ridiculous offer sheet from Edmonton oilers GM Kevin Lowe. They matched and they have a 25-35 goal scorer who is not even remotely consistent.

Jay Bouwmeester (Calgary Flames) – $6.6 million for 3 more years, same cap hit
No shocker that one of the worst signings can be attributed to Darryl Sutter, hell you could make an entire list of terrible signings from him. This one was just a complete overvaluation for a good defenceman. $6.6 mil a year will buy you Dustin Byfuglien AND Brent Seabrook.

Shawn Horcoff (Edmonton Oilers) – $6.5, 6.0, 4.0 with $5.5 cap hit for next 3 years
Ahh it’s good to be an NHL player in Alberta, overpayments are in adundance. The sheer fact that Horcoff and his agent were able to get this out of the Oilers just proves how clueless Kevin Lowe is.

Scott Gomez (Montreal Canadiens via NY Rangers) – $7.5, 5.5, 4.5 with $7/year cap hit for next three years
Glen Sather must have taught Darryl Sutter and Kevin Lowe everything he knows because he is the original monopoly man, throwing money around like it is nothing. Over the years he has had so many bad signings it’s tough to list them all. Unfortunately for Montreal, they were dumb enough to trade for the perennial underperformer who has averaged under 14.2 goals a season over the past 4 years.

Ilya Kovalchuk (New Jersey Devils) – $6.667 cap hit for the next…..15 years. No big deal
What else can you say that hasn’t been said. To be fair, Ilya is an impressive -29 this year.

Rick Dipietro (NY Islanders) – $4.5 mil/year until 2021 same cap hit
Well thank god Charles Wang locked up his injury prone goaltender situation for one and a half decades when he did. Without that signing they may have actually been able to build a decent team around a decent goaltender.

 Wade Redden (NY Rangers) – $6.5, 5.0, 5.0 with a cap hit of $6.5…if he played in the NHL
Ah Mr. Sather makes another appearance on the list. Good work Slats. Glen has been the GM for the Rangers for 10 years now and has signed superstars such as Chis Drury, Scott Gomez, Bobby Holik, Eric Lindros, and Pavel Bure to long term contracts. None of them really worked out, but that doesn’t phase Slats from returning to that vault and minting more money for players that don’t deserve it.

Sergei Gonchar (Ottawa Senators) – $5.5/year for 2 more years with same cap hit
In a move that didn’t really make a whole lot of sense Bryan Murray signed Sergei Gonchar to a 3 year deal during the last offseason. He already had offensive players that are questionable at defence in Chris Campoli and Erik Karlsson.

Mike Komisarek (Toronto Maple Leafs) – $6.0, 5.5, 3.5, 3.5 cap hit of $4.5 per year
At what point does a defenceman that averages 15 points, + 4, and 110 PIMs turn into a contract that pays him $6 million dollars and averages $4.5 million over five years. Can’t even put into words what a misappropriation of funds that is.

Sure we’ve left plenty off this list so feel free to list your favourite contract on the market right now.

Gary Bettman – The Donkey

The few readers who actually read this blog can probably tell by now that Truthfully Lying is a big fan of the ol stick and puck, better known as hockey. We are passionate about the game and our local team to the level of unhealthiness. This level of interest in the game and the NHL makes it almost impossible to consistently read/listen to what form of retardation the NHL head office has manifested on any given day. They have one of the most exciting sporting products in terms of speed, toughness, and sheer talent yet more mundane sports such as Baseball and Basketball continue to outpace them for fans. Nothing against those two sports – well at least nothing about Baseball, basketball….meh.

I’ll give you a quick recap of some of the genius ideas that have come out of the NHL head office and Mr. Bettman’s ridiculous mouth before discussing their latest and greatest idea….it’s a doozy believe me.

Highlighted puck
Oh look there goes a red rocket! Better yet you also get to see Fox’s genius robots at the end of some of the goals.

Warrior Advertising
Instead of using the talent and toughness of real NHL players to show off how great the sport is the NHL and their advertising agency thought that a big boobed girl dressing a guy in his gear and making him seem like a “warrior” would be the best way to attract fans. Instead it probably confused people while at the same time making the league seem pathetic and bush-league. Good work Gary and co.

Present day
And then this morning I read this
I thought it was a joke at first, I couldn’t believe a professional sports league would actually even consider something like this, let alone how ridiculous the explanation around it seems to be. Each “Guardian” will have 5 powers???? Good god. What is the Atlanta Thrasher’s guardian going to do, hatch golden eggs? Is the Edmonton Oiler going to spill oil into the environment – he’s definately my pick for villain. Who in the NHL office thought this would be a good idea? What i’d like to hear is how much money they have already pumped into this jaw dropping project. I’m sure its multi-million already.

So, yet again the NHL has dropped the ball on the marketing of their product by once again refusing to use the talent and toughness of the actual athletes to promote the on ice product. Instead they are hoping to lure 35 year old nerds that still live in their parents basement I believe. As the title of this blog suggests, the only logical superhero name that can be given to Gary Bettman is “The Donkey”. His superpowers are whining, being useless, and shitting on hockey lovers around the world. What a dick.