Tag Archives: england

“Anything to declare?!” “Yeah, Don’t go to London”

I’m sure everyone had the same reaction as I did upon learning that Prince William was finally going to marry his long time girlfriend, Kate Middleton. “OH!, good for them, what’s the score in that hockey game, Dave?” First things first.  William is the real winner after this because the newest Princess to be is a good looking piece of royal ass.  At this stage of my life I kind of wish I was still in contact with my ex-girlfriend so I could show her what a REAL Princess looks and acts like, but, I digress. 

In the days following the news of the latest royal engagement there have been countless stories about the wedding and the rabid dogs that are the british press are churning out stories.  Of course, a royal wedding is a huge, expensive undertaking that the Royal family funds.  I have NO idea how they have so much money and where it continues to come from (i hope it isn’t coming out of my Canadian pocket) but they obviously have some pounds, not euros, real currency, pounds.  Who am I to say how the Royal family spends their money, 30 – 50 million pounds for a wedding isn’t out of the realm of possibilty, wait a minute!!?  “On top of those costs, British taxpayers will pick up the tab for security and transportation, which could add up to $130 million”  How is this a good use of tax payers money?!  The financial difficulties among the English population has been well documented over the last couple of years, due to the mighty recession.  How is Charlie, the 43 year old brick layer from Manchester going to feel he is flipping the bill for this Princesses big day and he ain’t getting squat!  I don’t want to rag on William too much because I am not quite sure if he is the one driving the double decker bus.  However, I doubt Princess Diana would have been in favour of spending the common folks hard earned money on security at her sons wedding especially this soon after such a difficult financial crisis for so many.  That’s easy for me to say because I am not a member of the Royal Family and Princess Diana died many years ago.  However, from what I read about Princess Di (very little) she seemed to be very down to earth and a world leader in charitable causes.  Angelina Jolie wishes she was half the woman Princess Di was – ha – suck on that Jolie, you sexy as hell, old bitch. 

For a country that is hosting the 2012 Summer Olympics I wonder where they are getting all of this money?  The thing about the Olympics  is that the English masses are going to enjoy those sporting events and parties.  The Olympics are nothing short of a two week, patriotic love fest where the whole city shuts down and getting wasted at noon on a work day is the norm, well, maybe a little more acceptable then what probably already happens in London anyways.  My totally irrelevant point is that taxpayes money for the Olympics is a great idea because the country will benefit from hosting these events.  I doubt you would find very many Vancouverites who regret or hated having the Olympics in Vancouver.  What does the English population stand to gain from spending money to watch Prince William marry Kate Middleton?!? nadda.  Perhaps Hugh Heffner could swindle Kate into a little Royal Family Centre Fold to help cover the costs of the wedding, I would have no problem chipping in for that!

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Fabulous Football Announcing

The World Cup of Football is one of the most exciting and impressive sporting events that most sports fans look forward to every four years. There are many things to look forward to when this tournament comes around each time: Passionate fans, amazing football players, acrobatic diving and acting. But the one thing I most look forward to during the tournament is the announcing work done by the british announcers. Their ability to create sayings and phrases that you would never hear in other sports but when put into the context of a football match so aptly describe the play that is happening on the pitch. They don’t have a colour commentator like other major sports, it is just them talking to the audience for a full 90+ minutes of action.

This is my list of favourite sayings from football announcers that I always enjoy hearing. Some of them I have heard for the first time at South Africa 2010, and some of them I have heard from past tournaments but at still as good today as the first time I heard them.

Disposessed – When a player has the ball taken away from him by a player on the opposing team either through a slide tackle or by being checked. When an announcer says it in his british accent it practically drools of haughtiness and it is as if he is telling the player that was “dispossessed” that he should be thoroughly ashamed.

Enterprising run – I’ve heard this for the first time this year and it quickly has jumped up to being one of my favourites. It is brought out by the announcers when a team or an individual starts pressing forward and making a move for the other teams net. This is kind of a kicking off point for the announcer to start getting himself worked up at the possibility of a goal.

Optimistic effort – When a player who doesn’t really have the talent to score from 50 yards out decides he will try to put one on goal anyways. The announcer clearly has done his research on this player as is pretty confident the shot will not end up anywhere near the net If it is on net it will most likely be an easy save for the keeper. Most “optimistic efforts” fly approximately 30 feet high or wide of goal.