Tag Archives: celebrity

Boner bummer: Worst Celeb Butts

So, as any avid reader of the Truthfully Lying blog knows we recently did a post on the finest celebrity butts on the market. It was a truly stunning piece of internet journalism and i’m sure it will be nominated for whatever the pulitzer prize is for online publishing. Let’s hope Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen are all cleaned up by then and are available to hand the golden mouse to us.

You know, those two should really hook up, can you imagine the competition they would have of trying to outdo each other for media attention? My money is on Sheen for having an orgy in a u-haul that crashes into the zoo which in turn releases Lions into Los Angeles that immediately sniff out the decaying body of Gary Busey and pounce. But I digress.

The real purpose of this post is to counter our previous post with one that will make your eyes water and possibly result in you lying on the floor in the fetal position sobbing uncontrollably. We give you……the worst female celebrity asses.

Ke$ha
Not only is she extremely pale and not nearly as trashy in a bikini as she may appear in a music video but she could probably be used as a stiff board for the next NFL player who gets his head taken off by James Harrison. I can just picture Al Michaels making the announcment now “And they are bringing Kesha out on the cart to keep Vince Young prone now”

Tara Reid
There were much more unflattering bikini pictures of Tara’s ass but in an effort to keep my lunch in it’s rightful spot I was unable to use them.

Notice how Tara uses a pair of low cut jeans to accentuate the fact that she has absolutely nothing to bring to a booty shake contest. She will not be “tagged in” by Nick Cannon or whoever ran that stupid dance contest show anytime soon.

Victoria “Posh” Beckham

Ahhh the only relevant spice girl, and that is using the term relevant very, very loosely. Unfortunately it appears her bum also saw Spice World or heard any of their albums and decided it wanted no part of what the future held. Probably a sound decision.

To be fair, i’m sure she couldn’t care what the blogosphere  says, she has a multi-millionaire husband who’s looks appear to be favoured by a number of ladies, and she can shop till she drops in an effort to find clothes that will help make that hiney look better.

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Bottom’s up! The best female celeb butts

Isn’t it annoying when you are looking at hot celebrities behind your girlfriend/wife’s back and you just can’t think of any talent to ogle. I mean let’s be honest it’s tough to think of a hot celebrity sometimes. So we are here to help you, because that’s what we do. But let’s focus on a specific area of the body today…the badonk, the hiney, the booty. Here’s our top four in no particular order. Feel free to add your thoughts.

Jessica Biel – Athletic and fit

Kim Kardashian – A whole yard sale worth of junk in this trunk

Nicole Scherzinger – Could easily bounce some buttons off this dancer’s hindquarters

Jessica Alba – Sculpted by the gods, I dare you to find a flaw

Since I couldn’t figure out how to work the images in tune with the text below is a mish-mash of fantasstic pictures of the above ladies.

Is Angelina Jolie “hot” anymore?

Remember when those relatively terrible Tomb Raider Movies came out and they skyrocketed, well maybe air ballooned, to success? What was the reason for the success – the script? the cinematography? Nope. It was all about Angelina Jolie looking sexy and wrapped up in skin-tight clothing that every computer nerd wished their girlfriend would wear….wait a minute that’s not right. Dreamed their imaginary girlfriend, who looks a lot like Angelina Jolie in Tomb Raider, wore everyday.

Then came Mr. & Mrs. Smith, Angelina Jolie dressed like a dominatrix as she wrestles Brad Pitt (dude’s a good looking man) away from the unquestionable beauty of Jennifer Aniston. She topped the sexy lists and played a key roll in men’s, and no doubt women’s, one-hand stands with themselves. She was saucy, an apparent sex fiend, and downright gorgeous. The perfect storm of sexiness every guy dreams about and every guy-who-dreams-about-her’s girlfriend scoffs haughtily at.

Skip forward a couple of years and sure, she has gone a little crazy with snatching kids up from every possible country on the planet, but she’s still Angelina Jolie – Sex Goddess. The things dreams are made up of. But then you started to see more images like this…

Those veins are crazy and they are an instant dick-limpener. So you think, okay she’s just getting older, these things happen.  A quick googling shows she is just 35 this year!!!!! When you are getting out-aged by Julia Roberts, Sharon Stone, and even Helen Miren then it is time to turn in your status as “Hot” i’m afraid.

So who does that leave as the automatic topper of most sexy lists? Hmm sounds like a post that could be fun to write. As a self-accredited journblogalist I will definately have to do some serious research to make sure I do this story justice. I won’t take the easy route and just give it to Megan Fox or Bar Rafaeli without offering up other possible sex symbols. This will be my War and Peace.

Who is the real Most Interesting Man in the World?

By now we have all seen the brilliant Dos Equis advertisements that feature “The Most Interesting Man in the World”. They couldn’t have cast the actor any better than they did and i’m guessing as soon as he walked into the casting room and spoke his first words they knew they had the man for the job. His gray hair reeks of a vast life that has experienced more than anyone could ever imagine and his brogue, slightly-accented voice makes you hang on his every word. But still….he is only a made up character.

So who does that leave as the real-life “Most Interesting Man in the World”? Who could possibly be deserving enough of having that title placed on them. I have some thoughts

George Clooney
His acting talent is diverse and allows him to work in anything from a serious role to a comedic endeavor, but one thing that doesn’t change is the machismo and cool aura that surrounds him every step of the way. From what I recall he does a bunch of charity work too, hangs out with the most gorgeous ladies in the world, attends the hottest events, and has the money to do whatever he wants. My favourite story about George was how he said he was going to open a school to try and teach all these stupid, press-starved, wanna-be-celebrities how to act like normal people and not morons that “accidentally” panty flash every single camera that is around.

Clive Cussler
This novelist and man of the ocean’s knowledge and research skills mean he must have one of the largest brains full of interesting tales, adventures, and history. His love of the ocean and searching for shipwrecks’ only competition for his attention is his obsession with classic automobiles, which he works into every one of his classic Dirk Pitt novels.

Bono
I’m not as big a fan of this option but you can’t argue with a jet-setting rock star who uses his influence for worthy causes. He’s been to every corner of the earth, including some of the less desirable spots so you can only imagine the number of stories he has about his travels. Women, rock, partying, saving the world – all in a days work for this U2 lead singer. He doesn’t quite have the appearance or the visual charisma of the other two candidates in my honest opinion, but you can’t count him out.

These are only the first couple of options that I thought of, i’m sure there are plenty more out there and maybe you would care to share your opinion – even though, no doubt, it isn’t as smart as mine.