Sap-craptacular Happy Endings

When was the last time you saw a movie that didn’t end with two people smiling at each other in a fully blooming meadow with bunnies, sunshine, lollipops, rainbows and every other happy thing on planet earth going on in the background. Exageration??? Maybe. But when was the last time you saw a movie that didn’t end with everything working out perfectly and all the “good” people in the movie living happily ever after? Maybe recently, if you’ve seen The Town – which is bad ass and a definate must watch/must buy if you haven’t already. But even in that movie they worked hard to send movie-goers home happy.

Let me back up a couple of paces though and at least inform our readers what this rant is based on.

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps
If you’ve seen it then you no doubt know exactly what i’m talking about. If you haven’t seen it, I may ruin the ending here but don’t worry you don’t want to see it anyways. Actually, rent it or something so you can laugh at how ridiculously cheesy and pathetic the ending is.

Quick synopsis: Gordon Gecko (Michael Douglas) gets out of jail after serving 8 years for white collar crime, happened in Wall Street , and his daughter Winnie (Carey Mulligan) is marrying stock broker Jacob (Shia Leboef) and doesn’t have a relationship with her father. After the markets crash a la 2008 a company (clean fusion energy start up) Jacob was raising money for needs 100 million to keep it going. Jacob starts talking to Gordon behind Winnies back eventually finding out Gordon put money away for Winnie in a Swiss bank account which conveniently is worth 100 mil. Jacob tries to get the money from Winnie but Gordon steals it because he’s a swindling money sucker, and Jacob ends up losing Winnie and the money all after he has just found out Winnie is preggers. End of movie right, we all know Gecko is a dick and Jacob was an idiot that didn’t listen to his Fiance. Nope, Jacob finds Gecko sneaks into his office and shows him his grandson’s ultrasound. A little while later Gordon has a change of heart and in the final scene asks if he can try to be a father again to the grandson and then Winnie and Jacob get back together and kiss. Brutal.

How desperate are we to see everything work out just perfectly in the end. Why can our population not take an ending that sometimes maybe doesn’t work out great for everyone or shows the perspective of “sometimes life just sucks”. That must be the reason these writers are ending movies in such an obvious, pathetic way. Sure if this movie was a ro-com I would expect such a result, but in a movie about the crash of Wall Street and an entire nation you would think the ending could be a little more somber. Greed is bad, but greed keeps winning the battles against the powers of good. Realistic and more appropriate than cuddly bunny, bedtime story endings.

To be fair to Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps though even if the ending was different the movie probably still would have been subpar thanks to a cheesy cameo by Charlie Sheen (who apparently can’t act at all) and some weird filmography that tried to make a story about financial markets too artistic with weird filming techniques and some strange scene transitions.

If you’re going to see a movie, go see The Town.

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